Rhyme or Reason

So....

(Eyes Set To Kill is playing)

I found me some good bands the other day. And my title for this blog is a song title from an ah-mazing band called Midnight To Tweleve. They are really good which is kinda weird for me to say. I'm fuckin picky on some shit. I can name you a full list of shit I dont like. I hate anything that everyone likes....It's basically a stage every teen goes threw. Like....If I find out alot people like one band I stand clear or I get annoyed. Like it really kinda kills me to like Paramore right now cause like EVERYONE is swooming over them and Decode. I guess I'm at that stage in my teen life were I gotta "be original". Ya know? Where when everyone likes one thing you automatically just go "Oh fuck that thing!" Yeah Im at the stage......I like finding bands that not many people are into....that I know of. So I can be "original" hahah wow thats stupid.

(Oceana is playing)

Its kinda like getting turned. When you first start listening to your first real band....it starts to evolve. My first real band was System Of A Down. Political gods of metal. How did I find them? Oh god....how I found them is pretty embrassing....but fuck it. The song Lonely Day was on Cole Sprouses (aka at Cody on the Suite Life) myspace and I thought it was good cause it was kinda slow and not as heavy. Yeah I was obsessed with those bastards. Thank god I grew up! But yeah that how I found System Of A Down. Then my next real real metal song was Chop Suey! I remember my mom saying it sounded like devil music cause she wasn't used to me listening to that. haha rrriigghhtt.....SOAD devil music?! Ha you wish.

So first was SOAD, then I listened to them for a good year. Then Panic! At The Disco. haha their old stuff. Not their new shit......because personally I don't wanna listen to someone trying to be like The Beatles. (Now I hear Black Flag) And probably after I post this and people read what Im (and now The Used) about say, are probably gonna come to my house, knock on my door, and shoot me in the face. But to those people I will say "Fuck you!" so I will say what Im about to say.....

I don't like The Beatles.

There...
Sue me. Come find me and teach me a lesson! Plesae and thank you! *wink wink* HAHA I don't care what ya'll say but seriously.....no I don't like them. They don't influence my music taste or my life. I don't see them as rock gods......my music is not based on theirs. You will NEVER find them on my iPod.

But I do respect them. Cause I'm a pussy hahah (I hear Cherry S/T)

It's the metal in me. It doesn't allow me to like them haha
It's the Grant thats in me. lol

But yeah so after the whole pop/rock. Here comes lil ole MCR changing my life. And threw them I found Iron Maiden, Black Flag,The Used, and shit. At one point I really got into Avril Lavinge randomly along with Papa Roach. Then it just spread after that. I'm into all this shit. But recently I've noticed I am getting into heavy screamy shit like Greesly Estate, Oceana, Alexisonfire, and etc. (Matchbook Romance is playing) I remember I liked Distrubed long before I found metal. Weird....

Wow I have no idea why I just ranted about my music history! haahah bored I guess.

Oh and I also liked random stuff like Josh Groban when I was getting into System. Its cause of my mom. I like all this soft shit too like Josh Groban and Lucia Micarelli, Secret Garden, Frou Frou, Sonic Youth......I am woman of many taste.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So my day....

9:00am: Saying goodbye to my Cousion and wife. It was kinda sad. I liked having company aroumd.
10:00am: Dreaming
11:ooam: Dreaming
12:00pm: Got up around here..
1:00pm: Watched High School Pranks
2:00: Watched Top Ten High School Pranks
3:00: Watched Made
4:00: Computer
5:00: Computer then got ready
6:00: Guitar? Then Hyde Park
7:00: Hyde Park
8:00: Some more Hyde Park
9:00: Back home. Playing along with The Black Parade Is Dead.
10:00: Computer again
11:00: Computer all the way
12:00: Blogger.

Now you know what I did today by the hour.
Please compare it to your day. Probably was more exciting.

I was in a good mood before.....then I threw myself off and got sad again.....
I'm kinda fucked...
Im gonna go now....
And try not to fall to pieces.

Coffee On Demand

Yes Yes I know it has been a shitload of time since I've updated. The reason is because I really didn't want to remember what I was going threw or even felt like sitting down and having to sort my thoughts and force myself to put it into words so everyone who doesn't read my blog to read.
I just didn't feel like going threw what I was going threw again out loud on this shit.
So....
Let's all just forget the past two weeks because they sucked with a captiol S.
But one thing I will say is that.........I was mooody as hell.
But then Im fine now!

So anyway...

Whats been on my mind....

hmmmmm.....

Drummers and how fucking much we need one!
At my master class --- whoa whoa whoa....hold it..

My moms drunk...obviously.
She starts to drink for NO fuckin reason while practicing her fucking violin then her voice changes and she laughs loud and its so FUCKING ANNOYING OH MY GOD IT BUGS THE SHIT OUT OF ME! She cant take anything seriously...........duh! And when I tell her to shut up she makes no FUCKING SENSE! I'll be like "stop drinking!" and she'll be like "You stop drinking" Its not funny! Who every laughed at that........its just not a laughing.

I hate her loud obnoxious laugh!
Its so FUCKIN annoying! And she only gets it when shes either A. trying to impress someone B. when shes drunk. Ugh annoying!

Right now she was like "yeah you can you use my daughters guitar and jam out on that."

HAHA thats funny. Im not gonna let ANYONE use my guitars tonight but myself. They're MINE and only MINE! No one will touch Frankie or Ray....My electric and acoustic.

I could be a nice daughter and greatfully let them use my guitars without a problem but psh she treats me like a piece of shit when shes drunk and im fucking tired of it so no! Im not gonna be nice! Im gonna be the mean daughter who all her "fuck buddies" fear. I've already done it before. I've basically almost yelled at one dude, told another one to go home....no told ALOT of them to go home and that the party was over. I ignored one once......and said "hey" and walked away. I aint afraid to not let anyone use my guitar....bring it bitch!

Wow I dont mean to sound like brat but its fucking true.
Psh like I care what you think but yeah....

CHANGE OF SUBJECT!

Gerard blogs....or updates alot on their website. Kinda reminded me of me.....but with twitter. Gee uses twitter too but not like to exactly what hes doing. He uses the website for that. Its pertty interesting to read them too cause he'll randonly be like "Coffee On Demand is pretty cool" and "The dude from.......some band........is fierce!" haha What is he? Tyra Banks! haha But yeah they're fun to read. They make me happy knowing he's still alive and actually doing stuff with his life!

Oh oh ohhhhhhhh and another thing...
Gerard Way is....
Gonna....
Be....
A DADDY!

Holy fuckin shit I know right!
I didnt see THAT one coming!
I bet he is the happiest person in the world right now! He was already happy just being married to LynZ but now he's having a kid with her! WOW! Double the happiness! Im sure he'll make an amazing dad! Like one of the most caring dads. But I can't help but to think what will MCR do and MSI?! I know MSI is getting a fill in but what can MCR do? Gerards the singer.....you cant get a sub for that. So........I dont know......and they've been on this long ass break............

Oh well.......

As long as he's happy!

Well Im tired.......
as hell...
and hope Im not sick.
That'd suck......
Lollipops....

Quinn has a ha Ha HA!

That was an old qoute I said like last week when I had the giggles and was laughing hysterically at nothing on the floor during lunch.............I swear those M&M's had something in them!

So today started out HORRIBLY!


I was emotionally unstable. Ask Maisie! She def knows! I was like hyper sad... We like walked away from everyone cause I just ugh didn't feel like being with anyone. It felt like at any minute I was either gonna burst into tears or start laughing....I don't know. Damn fucking girl emotions!


Why so sad?
Here's why!

1. Jeremy wasn't there and that was one of the reasons I was emotionally unstable. I miss him sooooooo FUCKING much....Its weird! He is now my new Edward which ISNT good. My last one was horrible! I mean....I was damaged for a long ass time. Like I have said before...this is gonna suck!
2. I found out I was making a 69 in Geography which just made me fall to the floor....1st period was HELL! I was just shit...
3. It was gloomy as shit outside! All rainy and depressing...yeah ofcourse that effected everything!





I miss him so much.....and he doesn't even bother....which makes me soooooooooooooo fucking scared. I don't want my Edward to go away.......Cause I'll never get him back. How come its always that I get like a month or two with the ones I like and like four months with the ones I don't! Its not FAIR!


UGH

Well on my boring school day......

1st - HELL!
2nd - Made me happier since im making a 91!
Semar - We went outside and it was humid.....very humid. We played volleyball with volleyball girls......they get all pissy when I miss the ball......oh suck it.
3rd - It was spanish.....woo hoo
4th - I listened and learned in Alegbra!
Lunch - Taco Taco.......wow
Orchestra - Was boring cause Jeremy wasn't there...=(
6th - PJ WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY NICE TO ME TODAY! He kept trying to trip me....good sign....cause it was in a playful way. And he used me as a shoulder rest.......good thing ahaha he was just nicer. He didnt cut me down at all! =) And it started to rain after we were going inside....Ashley was high. When is that girl not?! It took Nathan a while. haha Pj started religous shit with Nathan....well Pj wasnt an ass to me anyway. Poor Thrice Guy. And Katherine giggled here and there. What a sweetie!
7th - English........is boring.


So after schoool I was walking out with Andi and here comes good lil ole Pj. Ellie is there too....(Pj tells me all his girly problems) Pj came right up to me and hugged me....
Hug number 1
Ellie walks away cause...I didnt cause that. Then another hug...
Hug number 2
He said something in spanish but I couldnt hear and Andi was like "WHAT DID HE SAY!" And started to choke me and Pj was like "whoa there!" Then she let go and then a mini insult from.....who else! And then a hug...
Hug number 3
But this was like hug then shoulder around the waist thing..........oookkkaayy?
Then Andi and him got on his bus and then a hug from Andi...then Pj.....
Hug number 4
And he says "Hot sex later what?!"

Oh god that hoe!





If only Jeremy was there...............
oh damn lets not think of that!

Now my photoblog says....



I said...

"Today started off gloomy...
I mean like I could cry at any second but it was a hyper sad..
I don't know...
Then I kinda got over it.....but ugh man I miss him.
I hate being Bella
And I don't wanna Edward....
I don't like New Moon....it hurts...

How did we get here?!

Band of the Day:
The people I look to for hope.
My Chemical Romance"




Fuck commericals...

I Caught Myself

Sorry about yesterdays explode of emotions...

It was....spazing.

But I went over board with my damn girl emotions. I try so hard to keep under control. And I do a pretty good job too. But yesterday it slipped...my bad...

So it was all gloomy day.

I woke up and there was bearly any sun coming threw the shutters of my room which is really weird cause usually its bright as fuck but not today! Thank god! It was nice and cloudy! I enjoyed every minute of it.

I kinda just lazed around the computer. Got a few things done. Updated the Photoblog and loving myspace...

Wanna see what my photoblog says?

mmkay!

With the picture too!

I said:

"I had the day off...

Thank god.

Yesterday I had an emotional scare.

It wasn't fun.

It was a cloudy moody day.

The last picture since Friday I all shot today.

I think I know

I think I know

There is something that I see in you

It might kill me I want it to be true

Band of the day:Twilight Soundtrack"

Yeah I hadn't updated since Thrusday and on every day I put the lyrics to Decode cause that song is amazingly addictive...

Damn it!

Another commerical break!?!

Broken Vow

I just had the first blow...and it hurt like a fucker....Im still numb and shakey....and nothing techinally happened.
This is a sign....I must of fallen....Wow and now I know when it really really happens....when we're....
Over
I'm gonna be over for a long long lonnnnnng time
It's going to be worse then Montana. And that really is saying something. Something big! That pain and everything lastest from April to almost the end of the summer....thats a long ass time. And who knows how much this will last. Wow it's going to suck so much! The damage is going to be HORRIBLE! I can already since it. It's like an earthquake and I'm perdicting the damage it's going to cause. And it looks bad. Real bad. Like living in the rubble of what used to be the town...my life. WOW! This is going to fuckin suck.
Why does it always last like a month or two? It's my bad carma with Tony huh? I knew that would bite me in the ass some day..
Maybe it was Jo Ho.
FUCK JO HO! He can go die now...
I don't want to let him go...no not Jo Ho...
Ever....
But he'll prolly wanna let me go....just like the rest. Like
Montana
Chris
Clark
All the ones I liked......He's going to get tired of me and then dump me on my ass and pretend like nothing happened.
Let my new and impoved New Moon begin....

I never realized how much this song could fit such a situation.
"Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
While I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

I let you go
I let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
I'd give away my soul
To hold you once again
And never let this promise end

I let you go I let you fly
Now that I know I’m asking why
I let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow"

I can feel it...and I HATE my feelings...
He isn't replying...
Calling someone else who isnt me "The most awesomest girl ever :)"
And now he's just "Taken"
And now I'm just
Broken.

Off Centered

I think honestly that is what I am.
I'm off centered...
The off centered Frontwoman...
Man it's hard. It really is. I mean I bet it can be much harder down the road, but right now it's pretty difficult. Telling everyone it's going to be okay when you don't even know the next move keeps you up late at night. I just want everything to be okay and complete. I am sick and tired of waiting! We fucking need a drummer! Where the FUCK do I find one though? The Austin School Of Music isn't helping much even though Dave said he would......I need to call him.....
Which bring me to my next problem.
Even though I want it so FUCKING bad I can't seem just to push that aside. It's just a fuckin phone! Why can't I just call those damn fuckn drummers! I mean I did but the spazing wasn't nesseiary.....well I have time to grow.....duh.

That's what's been on my mind for.....almost a fucking year! I see all these other bands making progess...
Katies band...
Anarchy On Mars
Hannahs band...
GodDAMN! What the fuck! Why can't my band be doing shit! Why can't I find a drummer?! This is like my everything and I can't fucking start it! It's like being in a race....Im a racer...and I see all these other racers who have a full team to help them and train them. And their races already started while I'm waiting and watching the guy to sound the whistle! It's horrible! It brings me to tears! ITS THE FUCKIN REASON I CANT SLEEP AT NIGHT! *sigh*

ANYWAY!

How was your day?

mhm... well

Maisie spent the night and we talked about this matter.....we laughed till we peed....as always and watch Berth like in summer.

I'm on Traded Apparitions myspace right now and it hurts.
It hurts like a fucker....

Here's the fuckin commericals....

Bummer Time

Boy oh boy do I feel like shit.
All day I have been blowing my brains out cause I have only been able to breathe threw one nostril and it pisses me off! UGH! And Ellie, Megan, and Maisie were all laughing at me during lunch while I blew my nose...it was funny tho...

So lets go threw the day...shall we?

1st- Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Peyton! Happy Berthday to you!
2nd- Fuck you six weeks test and Coach Giest can scream like a fucker....but not at us....at people running in the halls....
Semnar- "JANEL! You'r suppose to be helping me!"
"I would if you weren't hogging the ball! *Says in a ghetto voice*" (Thinks) Oh my god I just sounded Ghetto when I didn't even try.....)
3rd- I sit with Henna and Rebecca again! HIP HIP HOORAY!
4th- ALegbra....I got raped....again by that guy *shutters*
Lunch- TACO TACO!
5th- Kissing behind Ms. Solis's back...muahhahah
6th- Talking with Nathan is fun! Im gonna miss him next semster. PJ was in one of his moods again....*sighs*
7th- FUCK Lord Of The Flies

Yeah...
STORY TIME!
So today after Gym I saw Bridgit and she gave me one of her sufficating hugs.....yeah.....and Chole came up and started to talking to her and then they got really close to eachothers faces.....so I took the oppertonity and said "KISS!" And banged their heads together.....it was funny until Bridgit was all "OWWW! HAHAHAH THAT HURT!" And a tear ran down her face....oppies!

Now for a serious matter...
I have talked so many people out of either giving up on something, getting over someone, or just listen to peoples problems. But today, my guitarist Grant was majorly depressed and suscidal. I spent half my afternoon trying to convience him not to kill himself or not to give up on anything.....it's hard though cause he's so stubburn. And he isn't the kinda attention whore, this is the real deal. But luckily I made him feel a lil better by talking him down and out of it.....kinda. But really there is nothing I can do but try to make him feel better. There is no way I can cure his heart....sadly. I hate seeing him sad.....Cause I know how it feels and I care....unlike Carson...

That stupid whore...

Now Imma go sleep cause Im sick and tired and I reallllllllllllllly don't feel like school tomrrow.

*sighs*

Now its time for a subliminal message.

Grant will not die.
Grant will NOT die.
Grant.....will not die.
HEY snap out and have a good day!
And remember...
Weeeeeeeee love you!

Proud

As you all have heard...Obama won.

I was sooooooooooooo happy when I saw it on the news.

And when I saw the speech...I was a step away from being in tears. It was one of the most insprational speechs I have heard in a long time. It made me hopeful and proud to be an america. I'm glad America choose something new that will break the tradition. Now we're starting a new tradition.....change.

Though I saw McCarins speech and felt really bad for him. It was sad. Sarah Palin looked like she was gonna cry which made me wanna cry. lol Personaly.....if McCarin would of won and then died and we would of been ran by Sarah Palin........hahah I don't know what I'd do. Probably laugh....because we'd be fucked up the ass....in a bad way.

ANYWHO

YAY OBAMA!

I so happy!

And everyone else probably is too!

Next topic...

My day was good thank you for asking!

It started with a morning....then it went to a mid day....

Lets explain that shall we?!

So in spanish I watched Madigascar....but in spanish. hah they said butt funny.

Thats all I wanted to say about spanish.

But in ALEGBRA, after my make up test (which I hope I really pass!) my mom picked me up and I went to the orthdontist....No I don't have braces but they just wanted to do a check up. So like a dumbass my mom forgets my retainer. HELLLOO I can't take my retainer to school cause somethine bad could happen.....someone could steal it for christ sakes!

But yeah the girl was basically like "....Ummm yeah this appointment was to check up on the retainer dumbasses! Go schedule a new one and lets take the X-Rays now since you tards forgot the retainer." haha I'd laugh so hard if she actually said that.

Then her cell rang and she like whispered "FUCK!" And turned it off. While she was doing that she was like "shit shit shit shit". It was weird. She had a nice phone though!

Then I had Taco Bell and that kicked ASS!

I rushed to school cause I wanted to go to orchestra.....to see me boyfriend....not to see Ms. Solis. *shutters*

So yeah then the day went by and OH MY GOD!

Guess what!

PJ wasn't an ass to me! Isn't that weirdo?! Yeah his period must of finshed or something! But he did get mad at Harrison for comparing him to Aderien (whatevery I cant spell) which I found hilarious cause PJs all "How can you compare me to ADERIEN! He's a fucking asshole!" I litterly laughed at that one. PJ is a major asshole but apprently Aderien is an asshole that doesn't kid around and PJ does.....rrriiggghhhttt

But he was nice to me and it made me happy cause I like when we're friends and he isn't constantly insulting me or goes "What?Clark? What?" Long ASS story...

Then 7th period....woo hoo!

And my boyfriend walked me to the bus like a good boy!

And I took a nap when I got home!

YAY!

Oh and Jo Ho got the hint....no hug today....it made me weep

No not really.

HEY!

Wanna see a picture?!

Yeahhhhh I took that a few days ago. Pretty huh?! It's not on my photoblog. Well it is but it isn't todays. I don't wanna put todays cause....I like thie one better! If you wanna visit my photoblog its www.photoblog.com/tastemyink

Comment plz!

And yes yes yes I know

I hate commericals too.

The Start of Something New

Yes yes yes I did just refer to High School Music...shoot me. I dare you!

Why hello world what is cracking?! I'm Janel...how do you do?!
I'm a person...I'm at place....and I guess I'm a thing? I really hate the whole "You have to tell everything about yourself in the first post cause....." Wellll noo...
Let's just jump into my life and you'll get to know me there! Good? Good.

Wellll
I made a blogger thing like forever ago and forgot the password and all that shit soooo I made a new one.
Obviously...

I also have a photoblog and I used that a shitload of time. So when I'm really busy and just come onto the computer for a quick check up on my shit and to post a picture, I'll prolly just cut and past my blog post from photoblog so yeah...

So....let's talk about my day...lets start from the morning..

I am soooooo tired of hearing about Obama and McCain. Not cause I like hate any of them...just cause it's what I wake up to and it's what I have been waking up to for the past like year...yeah..it got boring after the like 4th month!
So then I took a piss.....wow that was blunt. And brushed the ole teeth. Got on my long converse and did my hair. Oh M Gee I know...isn't that amazing!
Then I made coffee and tried my new creamer and it was ah-mazing! That is exactly what I told Jeremy....(aka my lovely boyfriend)
I ate nothing for breakfast cause I'm fat enough...I walked to the bus stop while listening to the AMAZING Paramore song "Decode". I love it so much...and right now as I type this entry...it is stuck in my head.
So I waited for the bus....got stuck in traffic...then it started to move.
I got to school....

WOW!

So then I was with Masisie and Jo Ho comes up and we talk. Oh it was a nice talk too! And Maisie was all eyeing me all like "no no no BAD JANEL!" And then Andy came up and did the same thing. TTTHHHEENNN The Boyfriend came up and was all "hug hug kiss kiss" and I was like "SHIT NO! DON'T LET JO HO KNOW THAT WE'RE TOGETHER!" Ofcourse not out loud.....I don't think Jo Ho cares....cause it's obvious that Jeremy and I are more then friends....oh that sly son of a gun!
And Jo Ho left and I was like "I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS!" I have the worest man luck....thanks mother.....
Then three hot guys....all in the same area!
Jeremy
Jo Ho
Pj
WHAT THE FUCK!

Then I went to 1st period
Then 2nd
Then 3rd
4th
lunch....got tacos from la taco stand
5th orchestra...I got called to the nurses office...I realllllllllllly need to turn in my shot records! Goshdamn you bitch I'm vacuniated! No need to go all Quaintine on my ass!
tthheeennn 6th
And 7th period...

At the end of school PJ came up to me and talked to me about his girly problems....oooffccouursee..
That man is moody as hell. Then Jeremy was all "grrr".
They were wearing the same shirt................
ACKWARD!

Then we kissed right infront of the princple. (kissed Jeremy...not Pj. DUH!) And got on the bus. Texted like a mad person on the bus...I've had a headache and have been nausas since.
Played guitar and weeped (not litterly) about Myles and Peyton.....
Yeah sorry Baby Toro...

And here I am
Live at last
And 'llI savior every moment of this...

This will prolly be the longest update ever...usuallyI won't have this much time to kill but yeah I realllllllllllly should be doing like a shitload of homework I have to do. And be eating.... so I won't have a heachache or be naueas...

Hope you enjoyed
Stay tuned for more!

Now for commerical break....